More tranny stories later!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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