I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
