I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
