I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
