after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
