can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
