Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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