So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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