my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
