Bisexual people are plain selfish.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize