p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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