I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
