Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
