White coat. Heels.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
