They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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