I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
