Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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