Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
