my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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