I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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