Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize