all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
