I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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