bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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