Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
