I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
