Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
