I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
