it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize