the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
