GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
