did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
