Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
