Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
