I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You made out with two different species that night
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
