is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
