Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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