That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
