so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize