dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Couch. On fire.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
