so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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