Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
