i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
