It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
