And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
false alarm, still single
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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