Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
