I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
