Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
