Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
