you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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