I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
