I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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