spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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