New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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