I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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