I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
