Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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