I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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