it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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