I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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