Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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